The Gap

If you are an evolving human, a rider driven to learn and improve and a person who desires to get the most out of your one wild, and precious life, there is a gap.

The Gap is the space that lies between where you are and where you want to be. The Gap exists between you and what you most long for. Once you decide to step into it, the gap is where the magic happens. It’s where you face your fears, embrace your failures and navigate inevitable challenges. In the gap, you’ll be brought to your knees and lifted off your feet; you’ll be devastated and exhilarated. It’s in the gap that you learn to get good with uncertainty. And reap infinite rewards for leaving your comfort zone. How you navigate the gap defines your experience and determines the path your life takes.

One of the things I think is so extraordinary about riding and horses is that the gaps we face as riders often mirror the gaps we face in our lives. From fearful to confident, from thinking to feeling, from tense to relaxed, from stiff to supple, from judgmental to joyful, from trained to expressive, from technical to creative, from hesitant to bold, from restrained to expansive…

We all have a choice- to stay the same or to grow. Identifying and claiming the gap before you doesn’t mean that you live, now, in discontent. I used to think that longing was painful. That it represented a state of being unhappy with how things are. I don’t believe that anymore. Longing is a thing that draws us ever forward but it can can co-exist with joy and contentment and gratitude. You do not need to be unhappy in order to embrace The Gap!

How would you define your current gap? The one you’re on the near side of, looking across? What do you really, really want? What do you long for? What does the pain of not having that thing feel like? What is the change or shift you’d like to make? Do you want to feel brave and ride confidently? Do you want to experience a deeper level of connection and partnership with your horse? Do you want to be a more feeling, responsive rider? Do you want to be able to jump higher or canter with abandon? Do you want to reach a level of competitive success that has been eluding you? Do you want to ride with the suppleness and grace you see in riders you admire? Do you want to be more present and playful in the saddle? From what to what? THIS IS YOUR GAP.

From where you sit now, the gap might seem like a huge leap. The key is to be able to see across to the other side clearly. This requires vision. What will it feel like to be on the other side? Why does it matter to you? What difference will it make to others? Focus clearly on the WHAT and train your brain out of focusing on the HOW to start. Once you have clarity about what’s on the other side of The Gap, you’ll be armed with motivation and be able to access a new level of courage. You can then look at the baby steps you’ll want to take to get started.

Many people go through their entire lives avoiding The Gap. They wish things were different but decide it’s too scary or too hard to change things up. They pretend that there’s no gap. They may be so intimidated by it that they don’t even consider setting goals that seem too far away, unrealistic or “BIG”.

I contend that, as human beings, we are programed for growth, evolution, and progression throughout our lifetimes. Life IS change. Therefore, there is always a gap. We are all equipped with intellect, physicality and emotion- powerful tools that we can choose to use or not. In order to live the life you choose, the one you want, it is necessary to change and evolve. Even as your Inner Critic tells you to resist change, you can forge ahead with courage every day. For every bit of fear and resistance you move through, there are equal amounts of joy and fun to be had on the other side.

Play around with the idea of The Gap and what might lie on the other side of it for you!

AND… Join me for The Performance Project if you’re ready to jump in and achieve your goals.